The three Kings go shopping in 2023…
Any similarities to people either living or dead, is entirely on purpose…
I wonder…
Would Joseph be expected to buy Mary a push present!?!
For those not in the know, a “push present” is the new convention from across The Pond, promulgated by purveyors of hospitality and luxury goods, where a husband presents his wife with a gift as a token of love, appreciation and/or reward for the successful delivery of their child.
'“And that got me wondering about how the three kings would fare purchasing three presents in today’s retail environment.”
Noel Verbruggen - Intrepid CEO
The value of the gift is expected to reflect the importance of the event. So, it is expensive. And somewhat anachronistic in the modern world, or so it seems to me. But then nothing gets in the way of a multi-billion pound industry… just ask the Emirate President of COP 28!
The USA is also responsible for giving us other previously unheard of opportunities for gratuitous consumerism associated with childbirth. There is the Baby Shower, where typically the female friends of a mother-to-be throw her a party with gifts, upon the news of her pregnancy. And then there is the Gender Reveal Party, to announce the sex of the baby.
Other imported consumer opportunities, courtesy of Uncle Sam, include high school proms and Halloween – the latter is now the biggest party night of the year for many cities – even bigger than New Year’s Eve!
Personally, I am still optimistic that Boss’ Day will also get traction in the UK. Falling on the 16th October, it is a day upon which employees are encouraged to show appreciation for their bosses. Hmm… Not an obvious fit, given our cursed history of labour relations. ‘Though I live in hope!
Back to the subject of childbirth, which is obviously a very relevant theme at Christmas...
It is written that three kings brought gifts to the baby Jesus. The story is also known as that of The Three Wise Men, but actually this is only true in the Gospel of St. Matthew. Other accounts record three kings.
Along the way the kings do not have an easy journey. This prompted comedian Catherine Tate to suggest that had the story been about three wise women, they would have asked directions, arrived on time, delivered the baby, cleaned the stable and made a casserole for dinner!
Imagine…
And that got me wondering about how the three kings would fare in purchasing three presents in today’s retail environment…
And so, it came to pass that three brothers Billy, Mike and Jasper King set forth to buy presents for their young nephew… baby Trevor, just recently born.
Jasper, being the youngest of the three, and so the most tech savvy, decided to take the easy route. Using his phone, he went straight on to the Amazon app to search “baby gifts” and came up with an 18ct gold plated baby bangle. A gift of gold for a newborn had a certain appeal at Christmas time. Result!
Guaranteed for delivery before Christmas, Jasper placed his order. On the appointed delivery day he sat, tapping away on his phone. Keeping abreast of everything that was happening on social media, whilst anxiously awaiting the ring of the doorbell – a sure sign that the delivery had arrived.
According to his phone the courier was only 5 stops away and would be making the delivery in 20 minutes. The minutes past. The appointed delivery time passed too. Still no delivery. But then came the ping of a text, informing Jasper that the courier had tried to make delivery. Regrettably, it said, there had been nobody home when they tried to deliver, so they would try again.. after Christmas!
Mike King, the middle of the three brothers, hit upon a combination of technology and the good old fashioned retail experience. He went online, did some research and found a fragrance for newborn babies from the Library of Fragrance Cologne Spray Collection. The store offered click and collect. So, Mike ordered online and paid for the baby scent.
Unfortunately, when he went to the store to pick up his purchase, it transpired that there was a stock error; there was no baby scent available because it had been wrongly coded with the code for baby powder… not exactly what he had in mind. So, Mike was now at a loss as to what to do.
Billy was the eldest. He liked old-school. For Billy, the only way to shop was on the high street. And so, he set forth...
Allowing an hour to park, shop and drive the 15 minute journey home, his trip did not start well. Traffic was heavy. And to get a space in the multi-storey car park took 45 minutes of queuing.
Now running late, Billy walks briskly towards a high street shop, where he hopes he can get some baby bathtime product. With Jasper getting gold and Mike baby scent, some sort of bathing present from him seemed appropriate!
It had been some time since Mike last visited the high street. And what a different world he encountered as he strolled into the store.
Many everyday items were locked behind screens or only had dummy boxes on the shelves. Frustrating if you are in a hurry, as Mike now was. Also noticeable was the fact that every member of the store team now wore a body camera. And there were signs posted everywhere warning customers that violence against staff would not be tolerated. It all seemed like a bad dream. Fortunately for Mike, the store did indeed have something to offer. He made his purchase and left.
Walking back to the car park he was struck by the dilapidated state of the buildings and public areas. It only seemed to be a couple of years ago that money had been spent sprucing it up. Unfortunately, the area was now graffiti strewn.
And neither was he comfortable with the three times he was approached for money by strangers, apparently in need of a place to stay and a square meal. It was not that he was uncharitable generally or being a Christmas Scrooge… but being older he did feel a little threatened.
Later that evening all three brothers headed towards the Star of the East, their local pub, and recounted their experiences to one another.
They concluded, whilst sharing a drink, that they had something in common with the three kings in the bible… Gifting presents remains so fraught, that it still makes a good story!
Merry Christmas!
“Many everyday items were locked behind screens or only had dummy boxes on the shelves. Also noticeable was the fact that every member of the store team now wore a body camera. ”